Editorial Services

Interesting story on the front page of The Philadelphia Inquirer today about bad business writing. Although I’m not sure exactly what made Stacey Burling’s piece worthy of such prime real estate (it wasn’t exactly a slow news day what with Russia invading George and the Olympics in full swing), it did bring a warm feeling to this writer’s heart.

What especially caught my attention was a quote from Rick Sherman, an Austin, Texas marketing consultant who defended his authorship of this description of his company: “[We’re] a market-leading provider of technology-enabled process-optimization tools to reduce and right-size inventory, improve forecast accuracy and service, optimize production resources, and reduce cycle time across the supply chain.”

Boiled down to its essence, the company makes money for its clients by making them more efficient. Of course, that’s not sexy enough for upper management, so Sherman penned his wordy, obtuse, self-important sounding passage. And, as Burling reported, he was more than happy to stand behind his work by arguing his target readers were supply-chain managers and trade-press writers, not reporters for daily newspapers. As if that audience is somehow genetically predisposed to prefer vague, unnecessarily complicated writing.

“It is not our strategic intent for you to understand,” he told Burling.

Sherman also defended the passage by saying it was purposely wordy to allow for as many key Internet search words as possible.

Kudos to Sherman for at least grasping the concept of writing for your audience and his rudimentary knowledge of Search Engine Optimization. But major jeers for thinking that you can sacrifice clarity in favor of keywords.

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I figure I’ve typed about a billion words – give or take a small novel — in my 30-year writing career. To this day, I still use the old hunt-and-peck method, which means my brain often gets ahead of my fingers. The result is some pretty embarrassing mistakes in my work. I usually catch them while proofing, but the occasional boo-boo does slip through.

When that happens, a little bit of my credibility dies. My excuse is that I never learned how to touch type. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

But there are people out there who really don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re” or “their” and “there” and “they’re.” In an effort to sound conversational, they write “I should of…” Worse, they leave their modifiers dangling. In public, no less.

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(Third in a series of articles about improving your writing.)

As a newspaper editor, I used to remind my reporters that there was a finite amount of space for their stories. If they could save one or two words per paragraph in a 20-inc story, it might mean the difference between having their work run intact or having vital information clipped out by a ruthless copy editor under deadline pressure.

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(Second in a series of articles about improving your writing.)

By fourth grade in my Catholic grade school, the good nuns had drilled into my head all the parts of speech, the punctuation rules and grammar regulations that were never to be broken, lest they show up on my permanent record. We diagrammed long, rambling sentences, marking the nouns with one red line and the verbs with two, adjectives with a diagonal and adverbs with a squiggly mark. By the time we were done, our diagrams looked like schematics for the Space Shuttle.

At the risk of getting a rap on the knuckles, I’m here to tell you to forget all those rules.

Writing is about communicating. It’s about making the reader feel comfortable with your words, about setting a friendly tone, about being clear and concise. It’s not about blindly following archaic rules that can get in the way of effective communication.

Here are a couple of rules I’m giving you permission to break without fear of an icy glare from the nun in the front of the room:

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(First in a series of posts about ways to improve your writing.)

The fact is simple words communicate better than big words. Some writers feed their egos by using pompous language to impress their audiences. Using big words when simple ones will suffice can annoy and distract the reader from what you are trying to say. Some examples:

Use help rather than assist.

Use live rather than reside.

Use help rather than facilitate.

Use small rather than diminutive.

Use use rather than employ. or utilize.

Use get rather than obtain or procure.

Use best rather than optimum.

Use buy rather than purchase.

Go back and re-read your latest piece of copy. I’ll bet there are at least a handful of instances where you can substitute a simple word and see a huge increase in the readability of your writing.

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